Review: Frogs

Frogs (1972)

Do you want to see the Stranger from the Big Libowski as a smart mouthed naturalist warning a bunch of rich ass holes from the dangers of amphibious revenge? Of course you do! Starring Sam Elliot, sadly not starring his glorious mustache, Frogs is a deliciously ham-handed environmentalist cautionary tale about respecting nature and the dangers of commercial pesticides. Mr. Elliot plays Pickett Smith, a freelance photographer and naturalist who is canoing about in the swamp taking pictures of wildlife (some of which is actually indigenous to north american swamp land) and pollution and probably crying a single Indian tear. He runs into some rich jerks in a speed boat and they knock him into the water, sort of accidentally. They take him back to their big jerky rich house full of other rich jerks who are there to have a rich jerk party. He tries to call his editor to let them know all his camera stuff is at the bottom of the swamp, but wouldn't you know it, the phone in the big creepy house in the remote location doesn't work. What a shame. Well he meets the whole rich jerk family and is shocked, SHOCKED to see their complete lack of respect for nature as they causally talk about poisoning the entire swamp because it is moderately inconvenient to them for the weekend they are hanging out there. I do declare. Smith non-chalants his way about the island the house is seated on in the bayou, casually respecting nature until he finds a dead guy. Turns out he was one of "the help" the extra crochety wheelchair bound patriarch of the family sent out to murder all the noisy frogs. When he reports back with this news no one really seems to care. He warns them that nature is about to take its revenge, but of course they don't listen and soon family members start getting offed by some very crafty reptiles. The people who work for the rich jerks figure out its about time to leave and try to escape but its a little ambiguous if they do. Its about this time you start to wonder what the frogs are gonna do, all the murder to this point has been from lizards, geckos, snakes, and alligators, and possibly some birds. It will come together in the end, as ribbity doom will eventually hop on in and take the master of the house. I have to wonder something else about the movie though, the grumpy old man in the wheel chair reminded me a lot of the big Lebowski in The Big Lebowski, and since Sam Elliot is in this as well I really have to wonder if he wasn't the inspiration for that character.

Lets enjoy a couple Dead Green Frogs, shall we?

equal parts
Rumple Minz
Kalhua
Green Creme de Menthe
Bailey's
Vodka

Its a lot of ingredients for a shot so its easier to shake up a batch and pour out a couple. Shake up all that creamy green stuff with ice and strain into shot glasses. It's exactly what you want in the hot-as-balls swamp. It is sort of like a mint julep, except grosser and might give you warts, and not really like a mint julep at all. But it will make it easier to bare your annoying relatives through the family reunion, you only have to placate grandpa through a few more birthdays until he croaks and you get all his greenbacks.

Review: Kill, Baby... Kill!

Kill, Baby... Kill (1966)

Kill, Baby... Kill! is another gothic chiller from Italian director Mario Bava, the second of his I've reviewed this month. A doctor is called to a village in the country where superstition still rules every day life. He is there to perform an autopsy on a dead woman who has died under mysterious circumstances. The villagers protest to this and see it as a mutilation of her corpse. The doctor is equally aghast at the superstitious practices of the villagers as they try to ward of the ghost of the baroness's daughter. The movie has a great feel to it with rich sets and awesome cinematography with some pretty inventive scenes, but I don't want to spoil them for you. Assuming you like Italian Horror or Vincent Price style gothic theater than this is a great popcorn flick for a dark and stormy night.

Review: Black Sunday

Black Sunday (1960)

Mario Bava's atmospheric, gothic chiller with a gruesome streak. A nobleman's family is haunted by the curse of a witch sentenced to a torturous death. Super atmospheric, the movie captures the feel of the classic Universal horror films as well as delivering the kind of occult torture scenes and sadistic religious inquisitors that seemed to be popular in the 60's. I thought the film was pretty stylish, the haunted castle the film takes place in feels huge, like something from Castlevania. Mario Bava always incorporates really great visuals in his movies, so even if you can't dig the dubbed dialogue you could add your own soundtrack of some doom metal or some other dark tunes and imbibe in your favorite way and still have a good time.

Review: Ju-on: The Grudge

Ju-on: The Grudge (2002)

Probably surprising that until now I haven't gotten around to seeing the original "The Grudge" movie. Somehow I manage to overlook Japanese horror (as opposed to Kaiju flicks which I adore) but that's a mistake I will be correcting from now on. Ju-on is pretty creepy, and kind of sad. The presentation was a little chronologically disjointed which was a little confusing at first, but really probably the best way they could keep the suspense with a fairly straight-forward ghost story. I feel like there is underlying theme to the movie about the lasting effect of tragedies on the community, which I imagine would probably be a lot stronger of a theme in an eastern culture. As the haunting effect touches more people through the movie it evokes a sense of communal loss and hysteria as it claims more victims. I got a sense from the movie that "your neighbor's problems wont stay their's". I dunno, I liked it.